One Bite at a Time

Serena Yunis is the founder of Beyond the Label and a third-year student at the Heschel High School. Serena loves spending time with her friends and family, enjoys traveling, loves going to concerts and fun events, and being active. Serena has a nut allergy and she shared how that experience has affected her, which you can read below. 

BTL: How has having a nut allergy affected you? 

S: As for actual day-to-day habits, once I discovered my nut allergy, I had to stop eating a lot of foods that I really enjoyed, so it has definitely affected my eating habits over time. As for how it affects me emotionally, I remember finding this out when I was 10 years old. I tried to convince myself it was just temporary food poisoning or just a weird reaction to something I ate one-off. I didn’t want to accept the fact that I’d have to adjust to such a big limitation going forward. That felt like a big hurdle. At a certain point I had to get used to it and had to rally. I love chocolate, and most chocolate has traces of nuts, so I really can’t have it anymore. I had to work to adjust my perspective to something positive – I don’t really eat dessert out anymore, and it helps me avoid a lot of sugar intake. I don’t actually really care about the sugar, but I needed to find a way to frame it as beneficial.

BTL: Do you ever envy other people around you who eat food you cannot have? How do you feel when someone does that? 

S: Yes, I do envy people a lot. Having to ask if something has nuts in it every time I eat out or go to someone else’s house puts a spotlight on me that’s really embarrassing. I wish I could eat and not have to think about that, but ultimately I know it’s a serious matter. It feels unfair and even a little pathetic that something as small as a trace of a hazelnut could kill me and other people don’t even have to think about it. One way I’m able to frame it though is that it makes me healthier in a sense–I don’t really have the ability to eat desserts while I’m out, so it feels like a luxury when I’m able to. It sort of keeps me in check.

BTL: Have people ever made fun of your allergy or made you feel marginalized? How do you feel when people make fun of your allergy? 

S: Yes, many times people have told me it’s just a mindset. When I was in Israel a few years ago, I carried a card that explained my limitations in both Hebrew and English so I could show it to waiters. The people who I was out with were laughing at it and telling me a nut can’t kill me and that they’d only believe it when they saw it. 

Sometimes, people even joke about throwing a nut at me. I joke about it myself too but more as a coping mechanism and less as a joke. It’s not funny when other people bash me, but when I do it, it feels like character building. 

BTL: Do you feel people do not take allergies as seriously as other disabilities? 

S: In the realm of allergies and dietary limitations, nut allergies should be taken the most seriously out of everything. If someone accidentally consumes a food against their dietary restriction if they are vegan or vegetarian or have a gluten or dairy allergy, it won’t kill them. But, nut allergies are special in the sense that they will kill you. I wish that they were treated like that. 

When I was recently in Italy, menus explicitly labeled whether certain dishes had nuts in them. It was really clear to me what I could eat and I didn’t have to have this lingering fear of a waiter not knowing exactly what’s in a meal when I ask, which made me feel safer and I could relax more like everyone else eating with me.

BTL: What steps do you take to make yourself feel safe with this otherwise quite dangerous allergy?

S: Since I discovered I had this allergy, I’ve kept more of a strict, simple diet. I love buttered pasta–there’s no chance of a nut being in that. This allergy clouded my expansion into trying new things and broadening my palette because there’s always a lingering fear that if I try something I’ve never eaten before, I could be allergic to that. It created a lot more fear around food. It made my relationship with food less enjoyable and more anxiety-producing. 

BTL: Can you expand more on what causes that anxiety? How do you feel knowing you’re always at risk of eating something life-threatening or does that feel routine at this point?

S: My anxiety stemmed from a really young age–from the age of 10 years old, I had to constantly be on guard about what I ate. I was quite shy as a child, so my mom would generally do the heavy-lifting of letting a waiter know to keep my food away from nuts. 

For instance, my hazelnut allergy has worsened over time. Around my older age now, I discovered that my allergy has grown from more of a standard reaction of a throat closing up to, to now, death. I had to take more precautions, obviously, but I was at a point where I was more equipped to handle that burden emotionally. 

After years of navigating this allergy, I can approach food with less fear. In an ideal world, my allergy would become less severe over time; however, in reality, there’s a slim possibility of that, so I have to take it with a grain of sugar.